Normally, if I disagree with something, I let it go on its way without causing much trouble.
I can not remain natural with the emotional drivel that is "Twilight."
Though some may say I have not given "Twilight" a chance, this is not true. I got through half of the first book before deciding I’d be a better person if I just stopped reading it – and I have never done this with a book before or since.
Many factors led to my abandoning of the novel.
The heroine, Bella Swan, is a generic character – short and uninteresting. Strangely, Bella has been designed to look similar to Stephenie Meyer, author of the series, who seems to have no personality of her own and has essentially written a story about herself hanging out with vampires.
Meanwhile, the hero, Edward Cullen, is an immortal vampire who inexplicably attends high school and watches Bella when she sleeps, which she finds alluring. Because, it seems, creepy stalkers are hot.
I’d also like to point out that Edward is over 100 years old and Bella is 17.
According to cultural norm, the appropriate age rule for dating is to divide your age in half and add 7.
Therefore, Bella is at least 40 years away from being age appropriate for Edward.
If the age factor weren’t bad enough, Bella doesn’t act like a real person.
In "New Moon," her vampire boyfriend breaks up with her so she hurls herself off of a cliff.
I know teenagers are supposed to be dramatic, but honestly, who does that?
This girl should be on medication, not hanging with mythical creatures.
Plus the way vampires are presented is terrible.
These are creatures that have sold their souls to the devil and are punished by God never to enjoy the sun.
In "Twilight," when they enter the light, they sparkle.
So here, God’s punishment is to look as if someone dipped them in body glitter down at the Man Factory.
Honestly, this might be a worse punishment, but Meyer has essentially neutered a long tradition of what is supposed to be a terrifying monster.
In addition to bad characterization and the butchering of a classic myth, the books haven’t even been written well.
It is as if Meyer doesn’t have a thesaurus and constantly reuses the same words over and over again. Learning some synonyms would at least make her writing less boring to read.
And the plot in the series recycles itself; Meyer doesn’t go anywhere new with her stories.
For example, in the first book, generic girl attracts creature of the night, creature of the night falls in love with her and other creatures of the night are killed.
In the second book, generic girl attracts creature of the full moon, creature of the full moon falls in love with her and more creatures of the night are killed.
Normally, this is the kind of thing I would let slide.
However, Twilight is constantly being thrown in my face, and I feel like I must do all in my power to stop it.
Edward Cullen cardboard cutouts, Bella Swan candy – it is even on the Burger King bags in the Mountainlair. I cannot enjoy dinner with some friends without being reminded that "Twilight" exists.
Even if you just like the movies because Robert Pattinson makes you hot, then go watch "Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire."
As Cedric Diggory, Pattinson is a multi-dimensional hero that actually entertains, and he isn’t nearly as pale so, if anything, he is more attractive.
People, do yourself a favor and do not watch "New Moon" when it comes to theaters.
The brain cells you lose will not be worth it.
And gentlemen who are being dragged along by their dates, do yourself a favor and count how many times Kristen Stewart bites her lip in the movie – it will be better than watching the movie itself.
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