We live in a society that pressures people to conform and fit into certain criteria.
Things like beauty, wealth and popularity have all been restricted by society to include people who fit into the confines of their narrow definitions.
Even though we have made great strides and have broken down some of these barriers, many of them still exist and continue to affect people daily.
We are all guilty of wanting acceptance and attention at one time or another.
Most people all desire love and acceptance on some level,be it conscious or unconscious.
We want people to like us, to think that we are attractive or that we are smart and worthy of attention.
What are the different reasons that make people compromise their self worth, their values and their better judgment to receive the acceptance and the attention they desire?
I have known people who have gone to ridiculous lengths to receive acceptance.
Some will put themselves in debt so they can live beyond their means, while others will cause their reputations tremendous harm all in pursuit of getting someone’s attention.
A person’s life experiences can have a tremendous effect on who they will become and what they will do in the future.
I never thought about this until I noticed a friend was really suffering. He is one of the nicest and smartest people I have ever met, yet his desperate attempts to receive acceptance were harming him in ways he could not see.
He was doing things he knew were wrong just because he was desperately in search of love and attention. In situations like this, attention is attention; whether it is positive or negative does not matter.
This was not only frustrating but confusing.
What could have happened to him that would cause him to do these types of things just for acceptance?
I have never known what it felt like to be so desperate for something that you would push morals and pride to the side to get it.
This situation opened my eyes and allowed me to see the need and search for acceptance is something that influences many people – especially young people.
Everyone has his or her own idea of what acceptance is and ways of acquiring it.
Some people set long term goals for themselves – goals they feel will help them become better people.
Others do impulsive things that will benefit them at the moment but hurt them in the long run.
For example, some people feel that drinking helps them open up, allowing them to be more fun. For these individuals, drinking becomes a way of getting the acceptance they desire.
They are satisfied with being the life of the party at the time but have no regard for how it will affect them later.
Promiscuity is also something that people use to gain acceptance.
For some, having numerous physical and intimate relationships with people provides them with the feeling that they are loved and wanted, though many times that is not the case at all.
We need a campus-wide dialogue about acceptance and the reasons people struggle to achieve it. There are many obvious reasons, but there are some that are not as apparent nor as interesting.
As young people, the search for acceptance is something that most of us are very familiar with.
I want to learn how other students feel about this topic and how it has affected them directly and or indirectly.
I plan to write a follow-up column that will include the comments and e-mails I receive from this one, along with research, personal experiences and other sources I acquire in the process.
I hope that through discussion of this topic, we can bring forward new insight on how and why this happens.
Little by little, we can continue to break down restrictive barriers that cause people to feel excluded – inevitably sending them on destructive journeys for acceptance.
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